Archive | March, 2011

the first time i killed myself

15 Mar

The first time I killed myself, I thought, “Well, this is it.”

I know it was a rash decision to make, but I’d had a few beers. I jumped from my seventeenth-floor window, certain I’d make an impact. As I fell, I imagined the last thing to go through my head – besides the pavement, of course – would be some sense of remorse. But I didn’t feel a thing.

And that was it. Dead.

Except…I opened my eyes, it was Monday, and I was late. I dashed into the office and…nothing. No “Hey, Shane, unlucky with that suicide”. Nothing.

I only lasted another three weeks. My horse came in fifth, so I did the decent thing: a bullet to the head. Failed. Now, it’s – I’ve – become a joke. Slit wrists, overdose; I’ve tried the lot. Even licked batteries.

I won’t give up, though. Something has to change, because this is killing me.

 

read more the first time i killed myself here.

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the best 59p you’ll ever spend?

1 Mar

‘i think the sun is shining’ now available from ether books!

what can you buy for 59p these days?

not a lot.

you can’t even buy a decent chocolate bar. i should know. i hadn’t had a lion bar in years, and felt the urge to buy one the other day. crack it open and pretend it was roaring like a real lion. y’know, like in the ’90’s advert. no? oh…anyway. it cost 65p. and it was rubbish. i think it was a fake.

look, the point is, it’s difficult to find something worth roaring about for 59p these days.

however…

i’ve recently had one of my stories, ‘i think the sun is shining’ published by ether books.

ether books publish short stories specifically for the iphone / ipad, so you can read whilst you’re on the move. the thinking behind the ether app is that short stories are the perfect length to keep a reader occupied by their phone whilst they’re out and about / waiting for a train / standing in the corner on their own at a party and pretending they’re really busy reading important emails.

it’s a great app, and is likely to become more popular as time goes on – especially once it’s available on other smart phones and blackberry.

i’m really chuffed to have been accepted for publication by ether – the app has secured loads of publicity, and plenty of respected writers have made their stories available for download. i’m therefore now listed alongside some really well established authors who are also on ether, such as toby litt, hilary mantel and, er, paul mccartney.

the app is free and available here from itunes.
once you’ve downloaded the app, i’d be hugely appreciative if you could bring yourself to part with 59p for ‘i think the sun is shining’ (plus there’ll be more to come, so don’t be surprised if i ask for more of your cash soon).

aside from my fine self, there are many of up-and-coming authors to choose from, some of whose stories are free. much as it pains me to recommend anyone else apart from myself…rebecca emin, adam marek, lane ashfeldt and denise kirkby are all great authors who seem to be really benefitting from their association with ether books.

if you’re a writer, you can submit to ether, and the process is really painless…not least because their social media queen, bea moyes, is endlessly helpful and enthusiastic about ether books’ writers.

go on. you may even earn yourself a few pence.

but, before you go submitting your masterpiece, may i recommend you download my story? it may be the best thing i’ve yet written (not necessarily an achievement). it’ll make you laugh, it’ll make you cry, it’ll stop you looking sad and alone in the corner at that party.

what else can you buy these days for 59p that’ll fill you with so much joy?

please, on second thoughts, don’t answer that.

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